I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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