Yo dont text me then not text me
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
