either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
