last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
