Whod you bang
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
