hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
