oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize