I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
