You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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