Don't make out with my wife yet
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
