I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
