fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize