The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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