I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
