Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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