We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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