I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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