He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
