IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
