Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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