whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
