I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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