please come you make the beer taste better
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
