So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You did what with his pubic hair?
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