u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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