This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
this hospital has no fireball
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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