You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You work out of a Hotel?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
