I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
