In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
