Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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