i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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