I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize