so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i think im in europe. pls send help
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
