this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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