AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
