i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
