No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
