everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
