There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
