you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
