it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
