You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
