I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
