Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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