It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize