I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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