You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
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No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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