Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize