The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
