And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
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