now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize