I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
