She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
