Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
