You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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