Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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