it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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