Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
