I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize