His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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