I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
