also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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