I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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